Saturday, October 30, 2010

Back in the (Writing) Saddle

Well, how about that-- it's been just over a year since my last post here. A few weeks before Election Day then, three days before Election Day today.

My decision, last October, to quit the radical politics business, enabled a consensus among myself, my wife, and my pastor, that I should join (i.e., accept nomination to) the leadership council (session, in Presbyterian lingo) of my church for my first three-year term. So that happened; I was nominated, the congregation elected me, and it has been a great time so far.

There are several things I have wanted to post to Facebook, over the last week or two; insights into practicing a different "mode" of being. In honor of my SF Giants-loving friend Forrest, I am going to call it the "jazz mode". Central to the definition of "jazz" (especially in its live performance mode) is the concept of improvisation. You have a plan, an idea, that is going to be worked out and expressed, through the "song". The "song" even has a title. There are portions of the song that stick more to the "script", and there are portions where one or another of the musicians in the group, "does what he feels"-- in the context of the "song" or "piece".

This has been a problem for me, for a long, long time. I remember my 7th grade art class at J.R. Masterman, when Mrs. Glover seemed to "see something" in me, and encouraged me to produce for her class, and I just didn't feel like I was "getting it". One month that year, she named me "Artist of the Month". Now, getting awards, that I was something I could relate to! But I kind of felt that I was being made the butt of some bizarre joke, getting this particular award. An artist? Me? Mr. Roboto, Mr. Precision, Mr. Control-the-damn-thing-at-all-costs-lest-it-fly-off-the-rails-and-destroy-itself?

Anyway, back to the subject, back to this last week or two. Something about the power, the beauty, of improvisation, has finally "clicked". I'm watching myself do it, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. And I've discovered something wonderful: it is easier to plan, when you know you will be improvising frequently in the middle of the script. At least it is for me.

This is the meaning of "living by the Spirit". I think we've all heard the expression that life is not a dress rehearsal? Wow. Let that really sink in. Learn your lines, folks, but don't try to get it perfect, because you don't get another try! Better to keep the show flowing, love the performance, love the audience, love the lights, the set, the music, the other performers.

So anyway. I am going to try to write an hour a week (to start, at least), making a lot of use of my memories from across my life (I'll be 40 soon!). I will write on Saturdays. I may just spend an hour dumping memories and past impressions into a text file, I may spend a full hour writing a blog for this space. How about this: I will put at least a one-sentence post up here, every week. Ah good, I'm so glad you're ok with that.

See you next week!